Engaging in the process of making amends can be a profoundly transformative experience for individuals in recovery. Similarly to making living amends, it’s also important to note that making amends is not a one-time event but rather an ongoing commitment that must be woven into an individual’s lifelong recovery journey. As the person in recovery continues to grow and evolve, they may uncover additional relationships or harms that require attention and repair. This can be difficult to grasp; your sponsor or spiritual advisor can help. If making amends requires the recovering alcoholic to report a past crime, they must be willing to go to jail to complete this step on their road to a complete and limitless recovery. From the steps leading up to nine, recovering alcoholics begin to develop tools to handle stressful situations without liquor and believe in a Higher Power greater than themselves.
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Step 9 in the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps can be one of the most challenging for people in recovery from drugs and alcohol, but also the most rewarding. It builds on the previous step in which you made a list of the people who were harmed by your substance abuse. This involves seeking forgiveness and setting things right with individuals who were harmed, to bring healing to them and you. However, Step 9 comes with a caveat to let things be if the other person is not willing to forgive and forget or if making amends would cause more harm.
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Now serving as the Director of Human Resources since 2018, she leads our organization through the intricate requirements of recordkeeping, recruitment, staff development as well as compliance. The 12&12 goes on to state that no perfect answer exists in such instances. What matters is that we give the matter serious thought, and consult those who might be affected by our decision. Step Nine exists because our addiction hurts more than just ourselves. At the same time, we can’t allow ourselves to create undue loopholes. We must ensure that we do the right thing rather than procrastinate or evade our duties without good reason.
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Before you decide who to approach and how you intend to make amends, reflect on your efforts at recovery and the intent behind making amends. The target audience for “We Agnostics” is relatively easy to define. (aga7ta/Shutterstock) Groups such as AA and NA have marijuana addiction many detractors, people who believe that they are religious organizations or even cults.
If we do so rigorously and honestly, then we have completed the goals set forth by this step. Even those to whom we owe financial amends may not request an arm and a leg. Once they know that we truly desire to set things right, they help us figure out a plan. Upon finalizing this plan of action, our sole duty remains to follow up on it. https://ecosoberhouse.com/ We should never fall prey to the belief that every compromise works in our favor. If we don’t do what is expected of us, we will face consequences.
Fulfill your promises.
Your loved ones must know that you are apologetic for what you did and the harm you caused. It’s not about feeling sorry that you were caught or that living amends definition the person is unhappy with you. This shows you understand what you did that hurt the other person. While the 12 steps were originated in 1938 by Bill Wilson, the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, each 12 step program created their own variation of based on the original 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. By doing these things, it’s possible to rebuild trust and demonstrate ongoing commitment to change.
- An indirect amend is appropriate when direct communication might cause further harm, or someone we harmed has passed away.
- For example, say you stole money from a loved one when you weren’t sober.
- Direct, face-to-face amends are encouraged to facilitate genuine healing.
- Thorough preparation ensures your actions align with your intentions and positively contribute to your recovery journey and the relationships you are trying to mend.
Every person travels it differently, with unique experiences and opportunities. When a loved one is in recovery, they are working on their mind, body, and spiritual connection to themselves and others. Part of this experience is rebuilding family connections through amends. The 12 Steps help people with a substance use disorder create lasting change in recovery and reconnect with family to help cement that change.
The 12-Step amends approach can be constructive for you and the other party. This is particularly true if you’ve been out of contact or have reason to question whether it is appropriate to make your desired amends. Someone liked enough by mere contact with you may be best served by no additional contact. The complexity of individual situations is why consulting with sponsors and professionals can assist greatly in your recovery process. After years of being bossy and overbearing, my basic apologies meant little. They don’t always see my hands off approach as sincere kindness, but my motives are pure.
